Dodge Ball

Last year, at the this time, I was pregnant with my third child and weighed sixty some pounds heavier than I am today. I tend to pack on the pounds with pregnancies with some kind of mythical happenstance that defies any reason or explanation. When I’m pregnant, if I just look in the direction of a carbohydrate I swell like the blueberry gum girl in Willy Wonka’s factory. Needless to say, with each pregnancy I worried a bit about ever again seeing my ankles in an acceptable circumference in relation to the rest of my body. Even though this worry was very real…especially with this last pregnancy due to my ever increasing age and decreasing metabolism…I still avoided regular exercise. That was the case, until last January, when I found more than losing the baby weight to be a good motivator to start something new. I found motivation in a girl named Hannah at the Youth Homes.

But since I’ve leaped blindly into doing the full marathon instead of the half, I’ve started to really wonder what else is behind this decision of mine. Was it just the runner’s high influencing me to up my goal as I finished 13 miles a couple of weeks ago…just some kind of bolt of endorphins that lead me down this path? The answer is…I really don’t know. I just did it. I took a leap of faith that I can actually manage to cross the finish line of the full before they tear it down. I’m still not totally clear on my motives. I guess…life sometimes feels like a game of dodge ball and you gotta decide if you want to hang out in the back avoiding the inevitable or step to the front and take on the bigger, meaner and faster kid from Mrs. Appleyard’s class.

I know I truly want Hannah to know someone is willing to do something ridiculously hard for them to prove she is worth the effort. But I also know I’ll be proud of this insane accomplishment and grateful I can tell my kids that I did it even though I was really REALLY afraid I wouldn’t be able to finish. And…that just trying  to do something scarey is more important than pride. That believing in your own hard work, finding your limits and attempting to push past them is what carries you along a path to being a better version of yourself. I don’t think these pursuits are necessary every day but once in awhile you need to jump into something you’re not so sure about to find out what you’re made of…right? Life gives us these challenges in some kind of natural rhythm completely relative to our needs…and that just mystifies me.

Still looking for running partners for miles 13 -25. If you are up for a mile or two…let me know.

Thank you Krista, Kay, Nate, Lisa, Hannah and staff for offering to run with me on the big day.