Out in the Cold

Today's attempt was the stuff of Tonya Harding's broken shoelace.  Totally pathetic.  I'm having trouble figuring out what days to run and when to rest. I ran yesterday and am planning on it tomorrow so I kinda half attempted today...with that kind of mindset.  Needless to say it didn't go so hot.  I started on the treadmill in shorts in the comfort of my basement with the full support of my husband taking on the kid duty.  He said, "just walk a bit, maybe run fast for a short time but then stop...get your muscles doing something different."  Sounds good...just a 20 minute stretch then. So down I go...I start with a 5 minute walk, then I turn the machine up and start to run fast (amatuer move)...then I want to stop almost immediately.  I get off and make my way back up the stairs.  My husband meets me with a questioning look..."what happend?"  I answer a bit over dramatically, "I failed."  "Well, just go walk a bit more, he says encouragingly, "you havent failed, you ran yesterday."  I turn to go up to the bedroom and find myself instead walking out the front door (in shorts still and its about 20 degrees at 8:30 am) and running down my driveway...and then down the street....just to the stop sign...now, just keep going until the next one...and I find myself back at the house, out of breath, cold and kinda annoyed.  It was my first attempt outside and I ran only a good 6 or 7 minutes around the circle of my neighborhood...maybe half a mile.  What the hell?  I know I can keep moving for atleast 30 minutes but this morning I couldn't hack it.  BUT...I did keep trying so that one step at a time thing really is starting to make some sense.  I'll see you tomorrow treadmill. 
And as for you...my outdoor pavement foe...I'll see you in the afternoon (in pants).

Just a reminder...training with Anders from Runners Edge and Run Wild Missoula starts March 7th!

Shawn Gray of the Youth Homes writes this about Hannah this week:
The past week has been difficult for Hannah. She has experienced a lot of change in her life, so it is not surprising that she is sensitive to it. One of Hannah’s peers graduated from Talbot last Wednesday, and Hannah took it hard, even though the two only lived together for about a month. It was hard to tell if she was genuinely upset about her peer leaving, or if she had a rush of old feelings. From what Hannah has said, she is used to loss and disappointment. She just recently lost her last foster mother, and continues to talk about it almost daily. During the week, Hannah seemed to be trying to mask her past feelings through focusing her sadness on her peer’s graduation. Hannah has perfected being victimized, so it is also hard to separate true emotion and attention seeking. She tends to exaggerate stories in order to get a reaction, or attention from staff. We are also beginning to notice that she uses different versions of her stories depending on who she is talking to, and what environment she is in. Regardless of the root of her feelings, they cannot be ignored. This may be Hannah’s first step towards asking for help and looking to share her life experience. Although her week may not sound positive, you have to look for the small steps forward in treatment. To us, Hannah’s choice to seek out time with staff to talk about her feelings IS exactly that step forward.